Accepting the truth: I will never busk again

Yesterday my new EP - The First & Last Goodbye - went live on most major (and minor) streaming platforms.

It's a bittersweet moment; 12 years ago I set to cut a blues record of all of my favorite tunes I used to play while busking, and I failed. I hated it. You can read all about it on the above link, though, for the details.

What's important to note here is that I kept clinging to hope that I'd get back to it again at some point and re-record it; As time passed, though, and my body failed me further, I realized something..

..Even just performing again isn't a likely prospect, let alone actually re-recording it.

It has been exceptionally hard for me to come to terms with that, but this year I finally did. After my CMT diagnosis I really became aware that.. Shit, it just isn't going to happen.

I can still play somewhat; My technique is much more limited, as is the amount of time I can actually play in one sitting, but I can at least keep going with creating music in some form.

It just gets exhausting to keep having to compensate for my failing body, which slips further and further out of my control.

The title "The First & Last Goodbye" has so many meanings to me, and it practically instantly rang out to me when I was trying to come up with the name of the EP.

To reassure folks: Yes, I am sad, but I wouldn't say I'm depressed; Overall I am still a pretty positivity-focused guy.

I'm excited to pursue new things in music. I want to cut a different kind of blues record. Hell, I want to cut another Industrial record, too.

I want to continue to create, in spite of the barriers life has placed in front of me.

I am just glad I was able to get a piece of my history out to the world for those who remember it, and for those who don't.